October 5, 2011

The Client Coach: Even when times get really tough it's essential to stay in the game

It was 44 years ago, but I remember the day as if it were yesterday. For three quarters, my junior high football team stood toe to toe against our cross-town rival for the city championship.

As the team's tailback, I had unfortunately picked the wrong time to have one of the worst games of my life. For someone who was usually sure-handed, I had already fumbled the ball three times before the end of the first half. Coach must have thought I'd do the team more good off the field than on, so he kept me on the bench at the start of the second half. I sat there all the way through the third quarter.

More about the game in a moment. Even more significant (although I didn't realize it at the time), were the thoughts that went through my mind as I sat there on that hard piece of pine. I have used this experience a hundred times since then to remind me that I have essentially two choices in my business life: 1) stand on the sidelines and moan about how things are going or 2) stay in the game and give opportunity a chance.

My recommendation is chose the latter, and here's why.

Sitting on the bench can feel safe — too safe!

There are times when you can feel so bruised and defeated that the temptation to give up becomes almost overwhelming. When Coach first told me I was going to sit on the bench, I was actually relieved. After all, being benched would at least spare me the prospect of further humiliation.

Thankfully I didn't stay comfortable in that attitude for very long — and neither should you. Because like rust on an old water valve, the longer something just sits there the harder it encrusts. If it's not turned back on soon enough, it will seal up and the life-giving water it was designed to dispense will cease to flow.

Frankly, it's just too expensive to allow yourself the “luxury” of wallowing in self-pity. It will cost both you and your clients significant opportunities. They will be robbed of the benefits you could have provided. You will lose out, not only economically, but more importantly on the self-fulfillment that comes when you act like a true professional. Obviously, disappointments and discouragement are an inevitable part of life.

So the big question is: When you start to feel defeated by discouragement, how do you deal with it constructively?

Every good general knows the value of a strategic withdrawal.

First, when facing discouragement it's not a bad idea to back off initially. Think how insane it would be for a commander to charge headlong into every battle without taking stock of the battlefield. Looking back I can see my coach benched me because I had lost my confidence. Sentencing me to the pine seat was a strategic move on his part to give me a chance to regroup, recharge and reassert myself.

My initial feeling of relief soon turned to disgust, determination and a desire to get back into the game. His plan worked perfectly and it taught a valuable lesson: There's a big difference between giving up and giving ground temporarily in order to gain a better position for the next assault. Deal with disappointment constructively by realizing the value of a strategic withdrawal.

Second, regain your prospective. Someone once said, “We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.”

The main difference between an obstacle and an opportunity is your attitude toward it. Every opportunity has a difficulty and every difficulty has an opportunity. That's the prospective that will help you overcome challenges rather than be overcome by them. Frankly, this approach to life may well be the number one prerequisite for survival in our new economic environment.

Stay in the game!

You will never find, create or even bump into opportunities by standing on the sidelines. (Yes, sometimes opportunities hit us “right up side the head” even when we're not looking for them!)

Now back to the game. We ultimately won the game late in the fourth quarter and guess who played an instrumental role? Coach called me off the bench just in time to receive the game's final kickoff. His only words to me were, “Get in there! Catch the ball and run like heck!”

Ninety yards later the game was ours. And with it one of my life's most valuable lessons: Give opportunity a chance by staying in the game.

Previous columns:

• The Client Coach: Here's what successful marketers do, 08-24-2011
• The Client Coach: Good marketers focus on the finish, 07-13-2011
• The Client Coach: Winning projects today takes 'a fire in the belly' of your firm, 03-02-2011
• The Client Coach: When thoughts undermine work relationships, 01-19-2011
• The Client Coach: A/E/C firms: Are you a partner or a vendor?, 12-08-2010
• The Client Coach: Pricing: Are you selling yourself short?, 11-10-2010
• The Client Coach: Are your services becoming a commodity?, 10-20-2010
• The Client Coach: Price wars bad for professional services, 09-22-2010