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August 11, 2006

Strange But True!

Q. First comes the big “thrill,” but with repetition, tolerance sets in. Stopping doesn't return you to where you were but rather triggers withdrawal symptoms — malaise, depression, the blahs. The emotional fire in your heart has cooled to a glowing ember. What has fled, and what with luck will take its place?

A. Passionate love has left you — join the millions! “When you're in love it's the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life,” jested comedian Richard Lewis. Actually, two years is more like it, says David G. Myers in “Social Psychology,” as by then spouses express affection only half as often as when they were newlyweds. About four years after marriage, the divorce rate peaks worldwide, said anthropologist Helen Fisher. It's at this stage that the fires of addiction fade, just like to caffeine, alcohol, other drugs. “If a close relationship is to endure,” says Myers, “it will settle to a steadier but still warm afterglow that has been termed ‘companionate love.'” This is a deep, affectionate attachment and just as real. But of course it doesn't always develop.


 
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