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January 5, 2007
Q. This human universal differs little from culture to culture or by age, gender or ethnicity and is generally marked by obsession and “a state of need.” More than an emotion, it's a primary motivational system with goal-oriented behaviors, associated with activity in the brain's pleasure and reward centers. Thwart satisfaction of this basic drive and its “dark side” may appear, sparking inappropriate, even dangerous efforts to attain the goal, and culminating in feelings of depression and hopelessness. What is this singular interpersonal experience?
A. Romantic Love, as described by anthropologist Helen Fisher in “The New Psychology of Love.” Like thirst and the need for warmth, it can rarely be extinguished until satisfied and is stronger than the sex drive or maternal instinct (which can often be redirected). “Few people whose sexual advances are rejected kill themselves or someone else, whereas rejected lovers in cultures around the world commit suicide or homicide.”
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